This is one of the miracles of the Christian life, in my opinion. Historically, we know that Pharisees and Sadducees created the Talmud to try and explain morality and codes of living for every context. Despite its size, it’s still hopelessly unable to account for everything. Walking by the Spirit, means we know and understand what to do in every given context. I don’t think Paul was giving a blanket model, rather a foundation that we can always rely on to be assured that the Spirit is definately talking to us (such as the Bible is.) The foundation doesn’t waver, but the application of that foundation changes depending on context…

In this context, a marriage in trouble needs this foundation outlined by Paul. Also, not all people are the same, which means the context changes yet again…

The lesson I have learned is that one should not inauthentically “take on” any authority, one should trust, and live it if in doubt, especially when in doubt, to see where life leads. There seems to be too much law-, theory- or precept- driven living in evangelical circles.

So if someone who deems themselves to be inauthority pressurises me to conform, I probably will not. I’ll endeavour to keep a conversation going, not simply reject that voice, as that is how I see G-d’s working, this is the “iron sharpening iron”. It is adult-adult.

But I guess there are others who need a more parent-child approach, and that’s fine. But they must be honest about this, and not generalise to make that the standard model.

Thanks for the comments!

Your marriage sounds like a brilliant example of how this probably should be a non-issue. I agree with you on that, for sure. In the context of breaking relationships I think the scripture is helpful for couples to know how to get back on track – husbands, love your wives!! As Christ loved the Church! That statement says a lot to a man as to how he should be loving his wife, and that he is first and foremost to do so.

True, one might say that the Word does not say “husbands, lead your wives” and your comment made me think about that. In the context of HOW God loves me, I am beginning to understand that there is a certain leading of my life that cannot really be boxed in to the ways we understand leadership. So, categorising things like I have may be less helpful than I’d hope. However, I’m still learning

I like fixing things she likes tidying, I like cricket she likes the news, I like walking she likes driving, we both like music, we support each other in raising the kids, I work a 40 hour week in IT, she does so with the Kids.

It works, we trust each other, we deal with frustration, we’ve never bought the official line of “wives submit to your husbands husbands love your wives”. We both love, we both submit, we lead together. It’s a non-issue.

YouKnowWho’s comments are excellent as well – this issue seems to be a real issue. Really interesting, actually! Something to take some real consideration in. Carolyn also gave some great insight here.

I wonder why I have had no guy comments here yet? Hmmm… interesting…

At TGIF, actually, it was only the guys who gave me flack for my comment which I find interesting as well! I think us guys really struggle with this issue, and here is something women can do : help encourage us to do it… even if it means a bit of a kick in the butt! Sometimes we’re scared to take leadership in case we become arrogant or imposing, and sometimes just because we’re scared to take a risk or make a mistake. There are a thousand reasons, I think, and many of them I’m probably just beginning to learn… but I pray God will help us men do what we need to do and just LEAD.

Thanks for the comments, guys, I really appreciate it!

Again, there is no easy way to respond to such a wide topic! But I’ll add my little two cents worth in.

I think that the reason why God has placed man and woman in separate functional roles – wiring our genders differently so to speak – is because He reveals different aspects of Himself and the relationship between Himself and the church in this way. A woman who is very practical and has her emotions well under control could (logically speaking) be great on eldership and govern things well. But when we see how God has designed us in His image and what He conveys through that, it goes beyond her talents and abilities to the very essence of who she is created to be and where God has positioned her in His order of things. So matter how practical etc she is, her function is not to be an elder because that is not what God had in mind for the expression of feminity. And that’s the beauty of it all – getting to live your life out as part of the whole great plan, knowing that your life is not one lived out in isolation, and that each role complements the other. I hope that all came out right… making sense?

I’m really glad you brought up the issue of servant leadership, I think that so many of us forget that’s what leadership is all about :J

And yay to you for challenging the guys to lead at TGIF on Fri!